The secret lies in how you say something


It has been an intense last two months. A major decision has been made and I am moving on with my life focusing once again on my teachings of Yoga and most of all on my studies. I came face to face with my shortcomings and realised how powerful communication is. I was not able to bear the way I was addressed or reacted to and it cumulated in a situation that I did not anticipate but have come to accept and be at peace with. This made me realise how important it is to practise mindfulness in my speech. I have accused another party of being rude and reactive in her speech towards me. I agree that at times our interpretation of how someone speaks to us is coloured by our sentiments, frustration and past experiences. And I realised that I sometimes speak with the same unconsciousness to my children or people that happen to be in my path when I am stressed, impatient or busy.

However the moment I utter those words in that particular tone I know it is not right. Buddhists teach us to be mindful about everything we do and that includes being mindful of how we speak to others. Whether we say “wow he has a really good appetite” or “what a glutton” can make a huge difference. Of course in some situations it is even best to opt not to say anything as for instance with my example above. My own experience of feeling bullied has made me more aware of how I address my fellow human beings. To blurb out any impatient reactive uttering is most definitely not talking from your heart. I am as guilty as that person I accused of doing just that. The only difference is that I have become aware of it and will do my best to talk mindfully from now on.

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